How have they got it so right? I've already written about the parenting style: the children taught the skills of cooperative living from the start; given responsibility and freedom at an early age; and abundant love. At the same time the children are not taken seriously. A temper tantrum is as likely to generate amused laughter as a telling off; "bad" behaviour isn't oxygenated by attention; intervention is reserved for any situation that could be potentially dangerous. And Masan and Rie don't pressure the children: Yuta's obvious drawing and engineering talent is gently encouraged, with no attempt to hot-house; I have seen nothing of the "over praising" that some parents think helps boost children's self esteem (when in fact the reverse is probably happening).
Then there's the low-tech lifestyle already blogged; how celebrations of all sorts, and fun, one-off events replace the TV and computer-game diet of many families. The Morimoto children are rarely in front of a screen; laughing at the 30-second video of Masan I just posted to Facebook is as far as it goes. How is this possible? A bit of luck with the genes? - not all children would settle down to reading and drawing... But also having adults around to play and entertain. The children of course enjoy playing computer games with their pals (losing, laughs Masan) but, at home, don't miss what they don't have. Yet.
Another key to the harmonious atmosphere is that, on all levels, there is an awareness of other people. As we do household chores together we weave around each other, in tune, a team. When I was washing up Machiko and Dai chan noticed that my back was struggling with the low sink and immediately suggested I dried, instead. It would be inconceivable to hear, "But it's always me who puts away...". When I messed up with the fire-lighting yesterday I was on Machiko's radar and she quickly stepped in.
In two weeks I haven't heard a single cross or bad-tempered word. Blame or resentment don't exist. Balm to the soul. And, in turn, I suspect that I've been coming across as happy, willing and aware - because that's how I am feeling.
Meal times have been an education. We start (and end) with words of thanks, for which Masan's translation is:
Thank you for the gift of nature and people growing and cooking, and I promise to bite much, then I start to eat (before), and
I've had enough with full thanks for this given meal (after).
We are mindful of how much we take - collaboration not competition. Dishes are chosen to be of a size that reveals the beauty of the plate, not the pile-it-high presentation of European home cooking. And they are numerous: even a simple rice-and-vegetables lunch has several accompanying relishes and sauces. If there is a teaspoon of a dish left over, so be it; we'll find a teaspoon-sized pot to store it in, ready to be integrated into a future dish. There's no encouragement to have "just a bit more". Why would one eat more than one needs? And no hostess patter, "Would you like...". We all pass dishes in all directions, and ask for something if we want it. (Even I can manage this - in Japanese!)
But, most of all, things work here because life is celebrated, lived fully. And all tasks are done with love, whether the cleaning, the packaging of goods or the cooking. After just 2 weeks I am beginning to feel that connection. I'm more content cleaning our toilet than I could possibly have imagined.
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